A Flowering Bulb

​It is fascinating to watch for signs of life as Spring arrives. After a long winter, up comes an inch of promise that daffodils will spring forth. When they start to come alive, I see the tops of the stems peeping through the ground. Next, I see the stem gets longer. Then the beautiful flower blooms. What started from a hard bulb, not promising life, blooms into a beautiful flower.
In the summer of 2022, several couples went on a Bike Trip through Austria and Germany. There were prepared devotions for us to read each day. These devotions were inspired by the stations of the cross. Each day we would read a different devotion and then discuss it. One morning, the discussion was on being known. The picture I got was a flowering bulb. I thought about how a bulb is tightly closed. It made me think of times when I can be like one of those bulbs, not allowing myself to be known. It made me think of those who aren’t allowing themselves to be known. Inside a bulb is a beautiful flower not yet to be seen. That is how I am when I don’t share vulnerably about my circumstances. The authentic, beautiful self that I am is tightly closed deep inside me.
How I process my circumstances can lead me to disappointment. I remember sharing with my counselor, Sharon, about it. I had been in a tough place emotionally. She asked me if I had shared this with my friends. I had not. Come to think of it, I struggled silently. I hid.
I can turn inward and isolate. Do I feel ashamed for feeling this way?
Do I feel ashamed to share it? Am I scared of being vulnerable?
Am I afraid of being rejected? To discover why I haven’t shared this with close friends would require me to be curious and pray. Sometimes it can feel hard and heavy. Just today I had a situation. I prayed and asked God what was going on. I asked Him what I couldn’t see. I was surprised by one of the answers I received. I heard, "hurt". That is not something I would be comfortable sharing. Questions came to my mind, "do I share this with the person?" Opening my heart to another person feels risky. I would need to be vulnerable and feel some discomfort.
My heart matters to God. Is it wise to share this? I could take a risk and share my hurt with them or I could stay closed up like a bulb and not share anything. To continue to grow means I keep asking God the questions and let Him teach and guide me. I listen because He KNOWS.


I encourage you to look at your own heart and be curious. Be courageous. You are known.