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August 2024
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AuthorMy name is Sue and I live in Colorado. I love Jesus and I follow Him. I started this blog three and half years ago as I sensed God inviting me to write a book. I was advised to start a blog. I decided this Fall 2023 to create a new platform to give the blog a fresh look. It feels more life giving than my original site. |
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7/29/2024 0 Comments The enemy of the soulGrowing up in my home was not always a pleasant experience for me.
My heart desired to be heard and understood. I wanted to feel loved, seen, and known. When I did something wrong, the punishment felt harsh. My heart hurt because the punishment felt unjust, and then I reacted and received more punishment. The negative outburst was my way of communicating my needs. This dynamic created an impenetrable wall in my heart, my way of controlling the person punishing me. My wall was a way of punishing her, keeping her out, and protecting myself. The reaction to the unjust punishment, opened a way to accept a lie that something was wrong with me. This lie created shame. While journaling and praying, I noticed one of my thought processes. I wrote, "I wanted __________________, but ________________ happened". When my thoughts start with an expectation, I need to be careful. I must acknowledge there is potential for disappointment and shutting down. Most days, I am aware of this dynamic, but there are days when I get snagged and revert to my old ways. It happens fast. The flesh desires to take over. After this pattern was revealed, it allowed me to put myself in my mom's shoes and have understanding. I was able to have compassion for her and forgive her. The contempt I had been experiencing in my heart was gone. Just days later her health began to fail and she passed away a month later. God’s timing is perfect. His grace is sufficient and AMAZING.
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7/29/2024 0 Comments What ifIt is a new day of possibility.
There is the possibility of love, mercy, compassion, forgiveness, intimacy, gratitude, vulnerability, honesty, courage, being still, creativity, adventure and writing. The Lord has made this day! WITH God, all things are possible. When we ask, “Lord, what if?” What if people opened their eyes and became awake? What if the homeless, the abused, the neglected, the fearful, opened their eyes? What if scowls became smiles? What if disappointments became new opportunities? Where if the old was made new? What if? What if we could see things differently? What if we became unstuck? What if a person looked through the lens of possibility? What if God makes things new? What if God creates? What if God transforms? When God changes our perspective and allows us to see that the old is gone, we can see the world through possibility. We can take our desires to God and request the new. We can anticipate what God desires. When things appear dark, ugly, and empty, God shows up. He shines His light in those places where His new is possible. What are you struggling with? Would you bring your what if to God and allow Him to create something new? This is the day that He has made. The old is gone. 7/29/2024 0 Comments OptionsHave you ever planned a trip? It promises rest, peace, intimacy, and great weather. You plan it out in your head. You know the sights you want to visit. You pick out restaurants based on recommendations. You plan for amazing experiences. You plan for intimate interactions. You have all the locations mapped out BUT you didn't plan on hiccups. You didn't factor in restaurants being closed that came with great reviews. You didn't plan on museums you anticipated would be closed. You didn't plan on physical exhaustion. You didn't plan the rest you would need.
LIFE is seldom what we think it will be! It can sometimes cause disappointment. 1+1 does not always equal 2. We want it to play out a certain way but there is no guarantee it will. Life can take us through twists and turns we seldom plan for. What is your reaction when life delivers something different than your expectations or anticipations? Do you get angry or depressed? Does it send you into a tailspin? What steps do you take both mentally and spiritually to walk you out of disappointment? The definition of disappointment is sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations. In my life, disappointment wasn't a word I used to describe my heart. When things didn't work out as I had hoped, I experienced my reaction. Before I identified disappointment, it wreaked havoc in my heart. An event would happen that caused disappointment in my heart. Instead of identifying disappointment, I would get angry, depressed, anxious, fearful, triggered, etc. It was easy for me to get snagged and swept under by a wave of disappointment without knowing what happened and not working it out. Once I started identifying it, I could express what happened, my feelings, and what I needed. I could tell myself I had options. It allows me to step back and evaluate what is in my heart. I can identify what is operating and deal with it. What a gift. Some years back, I received an assignment from my counselor. Her assignment was for me to purchase magazines and a poster board. Gather scissors and glue. She wanted me to skim the pages of the magazines and cut out the ones that caught my attention. Next, she wanted me to make a collage on the poster board. After I finished, I noticed a pattern. The collage allowed me to see the things I enjoy like cycling and walking. Enjoying time with family and friends. Enjoying time in life giving spaces that allow for rest and refreshment. I noticed that my heart gravitated towards spaces inside and outside that promoted time and fellowship with other people. Mostly, this posted allowed me to see I have options. When life doesn't quite work out quite the way I hope, or this poster is a great reminder that I have options. The exercise helped me to see there isn't only one way of doing things and only one option. Philippians 4:8 brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent and praiseworthy – think about such things. 7/23/2024 0 Comments One RoleIt was a lovely afternoon. I was spending time with my grandson Nolan. He was two years old. We started looking at pictures of animals on flash cards. I was amazed he knew so many of them. When I showed him a cow, he said a cow. When I showed him a horse, he said a horse.
It was like this for me when I discovered my identity. After one of my sessions with Jana, she gave me an assignment. She said, "I want you to take a piece of paper and fold it into eighths. In each space, I want you to write a different role. Underneath each role, describe what that looks like". Before our next session, I worked on this assignment. I folded the paper. As I began working on the next part of the assignment, a light bulb went off. I realized I have one role. ONE. I am a daughter of the King, a follower of Jesus. This was a huge revelation. I am not sure I even knew what identity was before this. God determines who I am. Whether I am a mother, mother-in-law, friend, wife, etc. I still have one role. When I know who I am, I will live as God wants me to. To discover this was a game changer for me. On that day, I could have answered something different. I sensed God wanted me to know who I was. I became concerned for everyone. It was crystal clear that everyone needed to know their true identity. I asked Jana, “What if someone does not know their true identity?”. She responded, “They can choose to be whoever they want to be.”. I was saddened anyone would want to be anything other than who they were in Christ. At another appointment, she asked, “If you had a Rescue Kit, what would go in it?” My response was, “Do I need a Rescue Kit?” I keep a notebook and pens in my car. They are accessible so I can jot down thoughts. After some time passed, I accumulated different thoughts. I would refer to them frequently because they kept me grounded in my identity. It was then I realized these could go in my Rescue Kit. I gathered them in a pile and took them to our next appointment. I told her, "I think I know what goes in my Rescue Kit.". I showed her all the pieces of paper. She was excited to see the finished project. I transferred them into a spiral notebook I got at Walmart for eighteen cents. Some of them were taped in, and others were handwritten. I would read this cover to cover as days followed. After this, I would go to Jana for tune-ups from time to time. I would share a scenario, and she would say, "I think you need to spend some time in your Rescue Kit." That notebook is tattered. Some pages are hanging by a thread and the front and back cover is off. The truths are the same. Here are a few thoughts from my Rescue Kit: Take captive EVERY thought and make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5 – pause, examine my thoughts. Am I believing lies? Change those thoughts to truth. When I was being knit together in my mother’s womb, God placed his image in me. Psalm 139:13, 14. My value and worth were settled before I was born. Nothing and no one can change that. God determined this. It is finished. As a follower of Christ, I am forgiven and cleansed. God went to the cross for all my sins, past, present, and future. My past doesn't define me. Jesus allowed me to see He is Truth. He is my rescue! When I forget who I am, when my thoughts tell me lies, I run to God because He is a good daddy. He wants what is best for me. 7/22/2024 0 Comments Fellowship and FriendshipFriendship – how do you describe or define it?
How do you know you are a good friend? What are some characteristics of a friend? What does God define as a friend? A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17 In the past two years, two of my closest friends had their feelings hurt over unmet expectations. The circumstances were different, but the reaction and aftermath were the same. They were hurt. There was blame and accusations. I’ll spare you the details. Recently, I sent each of them a card and shared how much their friendship meant to me. I received a response from one of them. I began writing back. Halfway through my response, I realized my heart was reacting from a prideful stance. I asked God for wisdom and His response blew me away. He allowed me to see the correlation in this person’s email to our relationship, His and mine. What I heard was love the Lord with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your soul, and with all your strength. (Matthew 22:37 and love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:38) I realized there was a log in my eye. It was hindering me from seeing the better thing. I wanted to be right. I had determined who was hurt and who was wrong. The better thing was my relationship with Jesus and my friend’s relationship with Jesus. If I choose to run from adversity or choose the wrong thing then I am not choosing to remain with Jesus. Am I willing to die to myself and be about the better thing? I remember my pastor one Sunday saying, “We get to”. A light bulb went on in my head. I get to because of what Jesus did on the cross. It’s a privilege and a gift to be able to extend God’s grace and forgiveness. He already did, now I get to. He is the better thing. My reaction, wanting to be right, had nothing to do with my loving Jesus and my friend’s heart. It had nothing to do with being concerned about her relationship with Jesus. I needed to see the big log in my eye first and then remove it. In my interactions, I need to consider that my relationship with Jesus and the other person’s relationship with Jesus is better. It is not who is right or wrong or whether I’ve been wronged. A friend loves at all times. 7/21/2024 0 Comments His Mercies are new every morningDry-erase boards are great. I can write on them, erase them, and viola they are clean. I remember using it as a visual to remind me of God’s grace and mercy. Each morning, I would use it as a reminder that His mercies are new every morning. He wants my heart to remain pure and to start each day clean.
I ask Him to show me if there is any sin in the way. When He reveals sin in my heart, it is my responsibility to agree with Him and confess it. I need to accept His mercy and grace. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (I John 1:9). The dry-erase board demonstrates how God loves me and extends mercy to me. It's His assurance He will "clean off" my heart when I confess my sin. When I thought of this verse, His mercies are new every morning, I thought about the people in my life - my husband, siblings, friends, children, grandchildren, etc. I realized at this moment that God's mercy is new every morning for them too. My thoughts of them need to be pure. If not, I need to confess them. I thought about these thoughts and if I didn't deal with them, they would hinder, constrict, and cloud my interactions with them. God desires a pure heart. Another verse came to mind, don’t let the sun go down on your anger (Ephesians 4:26). Anger can rule my heart and mind if I don't recognize that it is operating in my heart. God desires I deal with my anger before I go to bed. I believe this is God’s mercy toward me. He tucks me in bed at night with His mercy and then wakes me up with His mercy. What about you? Is there something hindering you from experiencing God’s mercy? Does resentment, unforgiveness, injustice, anger, or sin, need to be addressed? A dry-erase board is a great visual to remind you of God’s mercy. I am thankful for God's mercy. He promises to provide it to me every morning. I can gratefully receive it for myself and extend it to others. Great is His faithfulness. 7/21/2024 0 Comments Rubik's CubeIn 1974, a Hungarian sculptor and professor of architecture named Ernő Rubik invented the Magic Cube, later called the Rubik Cube. It was a unique puzzle. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubik%27s_Cube
I still remember when this came out. I would spend hours trying to solve it, getting all the colors on one side. It would drive me crazy not to be able to solve it. I can feel this same way when I have a problem in my life. Problems are inevitable but then it’s how I can respond to it that can feel this way. I begin by allowing my thoughts to twirl like the internal pivot mechanism in a Rubik's cube. Just like a Rubik's cube, the problem is not solvable yet. I pick it up numerous times in a day sure I'll solve it. I should put it down. I remember one morning, distinctly, I was sure this time that when I shared the problem with my husband, he'd have answers for me. Just like trying to solve the Rubik's cube, he did not. This same morning, he said, “This reminds me of when someone picks up a Rubik's cube. They twirl the independent faces of the cube hoping to solve it. The unfortunate thing is that a lot of time and energy is wasted by continuing to pick up the problem just like the Rubik's cube.” I need to put it down! Here’s how it played out in my own life. I woke up every morning for a year with an unsolvable problem greeting me each morning. It was before I had my coffee or breakfast before I got out of bed. There isn’t anything that comes before coffee. I would think about it for most of the morning. I realized many months later how it was stealing the energy and joy that God had for me each day. I remember a woman in my yoga class telling me I needed to exercise my shield of faith. One morning I decided to exercise my shield. If the problem came up in my thoughts, I would exercise my shield. In a sense, I was surrendering it to the Lord for Him to have it instead of wasting time and energy. I am prone to do this with problems and situations. I am thankful God used this problem to teach me to exercise my shield. There will be more situations in my life where I will need to use it. I am grateful he used a Rubik's cube and a woman in my yoga class to demonstrate how ridiculous it is to let my thoughts get the better of me. 7/10/2024 0 Comments A faith-filled encounter, ONLY GODHave you ever had an experience and the only explanation was God?
For President's Weekend 2021, Pete and I traveled to Phoenix for a long weekend. My brother Mark lives there. It had been a decade since I saw him. We saw each other last at our dad's funeral, ten days prior. Because he doesn't want to be contacted, I knew I couldn't call or text him. Everywhere we went during this weekend, I would map out my location to his address to see how far we were from where he lives. The words kept ringing in my ears, even if you have faith as small as a mustard seed. (The topic of that week's bible study was faith). I decided to pray. It was our last day. I knew God could make our paths cross. I asked God to have my brother's and my path intercept. Jesus said, if we have faith as small as a mustard seed, we can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there' and it will move. I prayed. I left it in God's hands. Pete and I rented bikes later that day. When I was ready, I decided to ride around the parking lot while waiting for Pete. I went down one aisle and up the next. Then, right before my eyes, I saw Mark. He was coming out of the Ace Hardware. I couldn't believe it. I called out to him, “Mark” and he said, “Who goes there?” I said, “It’s your sister Sue”. I got closer, and we hugged. He invited Pete and I to come over to his house. He told me, Jodi, his ex-wife, was coming over and Lora, his girlfriend, was there too. God set the stage. Mark's openness took me by surprise. A year earlier he wouldn’t even respond to a text I sent. We rented the bikes for an hour. I wanted to ride our bikes over to his house but instead we rode for a little bit, returned the bikes and then went over to his house. WOW, GOD! He answered my prayer. He orchestrated the encounter and even Jodi being at the house. Jodi was like a sister. After they divorced, fourteen years earlier, I struggled with it. We had kept in touch. I was excited to see her as well. I had met Lora once, fifteen years prior. After we visited for a little bit, Pete and Mark went out back to see the landscape project he had been working on. I regret not joining them. I would have loved to have seen the backyard. Pete said it looked like an oasis. I stayed inside to visit with Lora and Jodi. I think everyone was surprised by what took place. Lora said, "I am the one who sent Mark to Ace Hardware to get tubing for our fish tank." Jodi told me that the first thing Mark said to her when she arrived at the house was, “You're not going to believe who I just ran into? My sister Sue.” God opened the door for us to have this encounter. He knew my heart and how much I yearned to connect with him. He answered my prayer. It was a short visit and awkward at times. I was thankful that God orchestrated the encounter and our time together. He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20 |
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