I can't UNSEE it

I can't UNSEE it

             "You shall have no other gods before me."
                                        Exodus 20:3
I love putting puzzles together. I get excited about opening a box of a new puzzle: the cardboard scent, the puzzle pieces and those that are stuck together. I assess and ask, "Am I up for the challenge? Do I have the capacity to put it together? Are the pieces too small? Are there too many pieces with the same color?" My life has been feeling this way lately.
A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with a family member. A few things she said were hurtful, and she broke trust. I was hurt and angry. I went for a walk to process it with the Lord. He revealed something I hadn't seen before. As my thoughts filled my mind rapidly, God showed me how unmet needs from my childhood are why I have expectations of others, and then disappointment follows when those needs aren't fulfilled. As I was piecing this together, I said out loud, "That's not healthy."
Understanding how this puzzle piece fits together with the others has been a significant revelation. I can't 'unsee' it. This piece feels like the last piece of the puzzle.
I thought more about my childhood, and God showed me that I wanted to rely on my mom for emotional support, but she wasn't available. Trusting in the Lord to meet my emotional needs seemed scary and intimidating, so I sought other people. One of them was this family member.
Thirteen years ago, I began seeing a counselor named Jana. After several months of counseling, I asked the Lord, "What does Jana see, and probably others, that I'm not seeing?"
Here is what He showed me:
My hand was holding God's hand, and the other hand was reaching down, holding my husband's hand. He showed me that I was holding on to my husband for security when what I needed was Him. He was my husband. There was an unhealthy dependency. I couldn't 'unsee' what God showed me. Immediately, I "let go" of my husband's hand and said, "Jesus, You are my Lord and Savior." Everything in the room seemed to go silent.
I've attached to people to satisfy the needs of my heart.
Instead of seeking the Lord to meet my needs, I sought them from others.

"You shall have no other gods before me." Exodus 20:3

I'm learning to stop, seek the Lord, and wait quietly for His provision. This shift has helped me discern between childhood and present needs and take necessary steps to address them.
​He has rescued me from difficult situations and guides and comforts me with His presence.
I recall Jana's words occasionally, and her words help piece together what God wants me to see.
"Such a time as this". Esther 4:14b
Finishing a puzzle brings great satisfaction. Having this dynamic revealed and working through it makes it feel like I have completed a puzzle.
I am thankful He revealed this to me.