4/18/2024 0 Comments The BullyFear and Anxiety
Have you ever had someone say something to you which caused anxiety in your heart? A family member had had a conversation with another family member. She gossiped to me and shared the following words, “Sue doesn’t dare confront me!" At the time, it sent me into an anxiety attack. My heart raced, and my chest felt heavy. But then, GOD. He calmed the storm in my heart. He provided the peace and wisdom I needed. He reminded me about His love, His provision, and His Presence. This person wanted me to be afraid of her. God wanted me to know He was in control, I could trust Him, and He was my peace. I am thankful I processed it with God and did not ignore it. Months later, I shared the scenario with my counselor. She said this was more about this person needing to be superior. Family dynamics can be tricky. I need to pause and ask Jesus what is going on. The old is GONE. Jesus has given me His Spirit, who is Truth. He wants me to RUN TO HIM. This story reminded me of something that happened to me in sixth grade. I had made an unwanted comment to a schoolmate. She told me she was going to beat me up. I was afraid and hid. My best friend heard about this and chose to fight for me. Lastly, I had a situation of a "what if" scenario. I had said something to someone and was afraid it would get back to someone else. I went into full panic mode. God assured me that I didn't need to be anxious. He was with me and would provide me with wisdom and words. I am thankful God stepped in and sorted things out for me in all of these scenarios. When something robs me of peace, I need to stop. Ask questions instead of letting anxiety kill, steal, and destroy me. In the first scenario, God rescued me and assured me of His presence. In the second scenario, Bev stepped in and rescued me from the bully. In this last scenario, God assured me I didn't have to fall prey to fear. He says, “Continue to trust Me”. All of these scenarios remind me that I need to let go of my fears and trust Jesus. He is an ever-present help in times of trouble. Psalm 46:1 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15
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4/4/2024 0 Comments ListenIt was August of 2022, and I took a hiking trip with a friend. We’ve been friends since we were in fourth grade. We lived around the corner from each other in New York and moved to Florida four years later. This was a sad time for me. We had been inseparable. As years journeyed on, we realized we both loved to hike. As we got older, we met in various to hike together. We've gone to Grand Tetons, Yellowstone National Park, Zion National Park and most recently to Glacier National Park. On the most recent trip she shared unsettling news with me about her mom. She found out that she has a nodule on her lung. As we processed this together, my became heavy with grief. She revealed to me that she wanted to explore the subject of death. The moments that followed I began to think it was my responsibility to figure it out for her and then it became a burden.
As months passed I realized that she wasn't asking for me to do anything. My focus began to shift. I became curious about her heart and what she was experiencing inside of her. Was she anxious, sad, mad, angry? How was this news affecting her? What did she want to know about death? Was she trying to wrap her head around losing her mom? It might be she wondered about life without her. Was she wanting to know what happens to a person after they die? In those pausing moments, I realized I hadn’t taken the time to explore this with her. I was too consumed with my response. Had I taken the time to ask those questions and listen it might have led me to a place of understanding. I can’t go back and have that conversation with her, but I can start a new conversation. I can approach it differently and be curious. I can discover how her heart is processing all this and LISTEN! 1/24/2024 0 Comments awakeI am awake, the lights are on.
I heard a message from Andy Stanley in January 2023. At the end of his message, he shared how he surrenders to God EVERY day. He said he opens his hands and prays: Heavenly Father, I surrender myself to you. my hands, my feet, my eyes, my ears, my thoughts and my desires, my hopes and my dreams, my talents and my opportunities. I surrender all. Your will be done through me today. After hearing this sermon, I decided to surrender every day using Andy's prayer. Within a few weeks, God allowed me to see what happens when I got disappointed. He showed me how I shut down and how depression and despair follow. He showed me how I turn from Him in these moments THEN turn to my flesh. This made sense since God is the life giver, and the flesh produces death. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing. John15:5 The next thing He showed me was how I treated people. He showed me how I react when I disagree with them, or I don't get my way. I was horrified. Some special people that I love, and who love me, came to mind. I remember that day and how some choice words came out of my mouth. I went to them and apologized. He also showed me people in my life who were not healthy for me. He wanted love to be the basis for our relationships, not sin. I did some gardening. God also showed me how I dealt with conflict. How I prefer to avoid, to ignore, and hope the problem will go away. God wants me to come to Him so we can deal with it together. A recent conflict took place with a longtime friend. After the conflict, I avoided dealing with it. Time passed and I faced it. I realized I didn't have peace in my heart to talk it through with the person. I was being wisely advised to go to him, but I didn't have peace. I surrendered it to God and prayed He provide the steps He wanted me to take. The next day I saw this person at church. I knew God had provided the opportunity and I couldn't run the other way. I needed to face it. The guy was sarcastic and a bit snarky. I was shown at that moment why I didn't have peace to meet with him. It affirmed why I had pulled away to begin with. It's been a little over a year since I started to surrender daily. On February 13, 2024, I was listening to a lecture on John 15. As I listened, my thoughts wandered. God began showing me this dynamic of shutting down and how it had begun when I was a child. He showed me that as a child, I shut down to prevent further harm. That made sense to me. But at this moment, He showed me HE was safe and that I didn't need to shut down or pull away. Instead, I could lean into Him. As I was agreeing with what He was showing me, the next moment He showed me I went from a chrysalis to a butterfly. It was powerful and freeing. I really can't explain it any more than that. It was the piece in the puzzle of shutting down that He wanted me to see. He was showing me what it meant to STAY and abide with Him. I was out for a walk six days later and decided to listen to something as I walked. I chose a teaching on Ephesians 3. As I listened, the teacher was putting into words what I had experienced while listening to the lecture on February 13th. After the teaching ended and I was done with my walk, I looked down and there in front of me was a rock in the shape of a heart. I picked it up. It's a memory marker for me reminding me how much God loves me and delivered me from something that no longer serves me or others. 1 Corinthians 13:11 - When I was a child, I talked like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. I must continue to STAY, to abide with the Spirit and align myself with His ways, His Words, and His actions FOR THE GOOD OF ALL. 11/24/2023 0 Comments God, our PursuerI turned 60 last year. After my birthday I discovered I was believing a lie that I was supposed to have life figured out. I am so thankful that lie was exposed. I don't have to have my life figured out because God already has. He knows the number of my days. He unfolds my story one moment at a time.
I am called to keep in step with His Spirit. As I trust Him to write my story, He provides all that I need. When I was thirteen years old, my family and I moved from New York to Florida. I learned that there were kids next door, Jim, Todd, and Jennie. Paul and Wilma, the parents, were the youth leaders at a nearby church. When school started, youth group started, and Jim relentlessly began pursuing me to come. It wasn't until after Christmas that I finally said yes to get him off my back. They announced there was going to be a retreat at the end of the school year. It was going to be at a dude ranch. I signed up to go. We left on a Friday afternoon. We loaded up in cars and drove four hours to get there. It was a fun time. There were activities planned for us like horseback riding and swimming. On Saturday night, we sat around the campfire while Paul gave a message. At the end of the message, he asked if any of us wanted to receive Jesus into our hearts. I knew what he was asking. I was scared. I wanted to hang on to my life. We came back on Sunday afternoon. Jesus kept pursuing me and I knew there was one thing I needed to do. On Sunday night, I gave my heart to Jesus. A few years ago, I went through a study Love Affair with God, by Janae Bowers. In one of the lessons, we looked at our names and what they meant. I discovered my name was part of the word pursue. This made me think of how God pursues me and how I pursue others. Soon after this, I was with close friends. They shared with me how they appreciated me pursuing them. I received a card in the mail this same week from another friend saying, “I am thankful for the way you pursue me….” It was confirmation to me from God that He revealed that to me in the study. Jana was a counselor I saw consistently for two and a half years. God imparted His wisdom from her heart to mine during these sessions. He provided truth in between these sessions as well, that I began quoting that were life-giving. Here are some examples, "you don't have to fight, prove or defend", "don't get snagged on the seaweed", "shame, guilt and regret are all flesh responses", "control is when it has to look a certain way", "make sure time is all that has gotten in the way instead of assigning or being suspicious", "let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts", "Accept things the way they are, reality is the way God sees it" - so many more. He revealed things I needed to let go of, lies I needed to see that I was believing, and gave me truths that were living life. Jesus came for one purpose: to die. He went to the cross for you and me. He could’ve said, “No thank you or no way, you are asking too much?” BUT Jesus obediently, willingly, and lovingly went to the cross and died for us. He purchased our salvation so we could live eternally with Him. Have you put your faith in Jesus Christ? Have you trusted Him for your salvation? Have you allowed Him to be your personal Savior? He died for you so you could live. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 |
AuthorMy name is Sue and I live in Colorado. I love Jesus and I follow Him. I started this blog three and half years ago as I sensed God inviting me to write a book. I was advised to start a blog. I decided this Fall 2023 to create a new platform to give the blog a fresh look. It feels more life giving than my original site. Blog Feed
April 2024
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